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Ego Love is an Oxymoron

By Catalyst Yogi

“Do you know what love is? Love is an absolute power of self-totality. Love is not what you think love is. Love is a strength. Love is a goodness, like Godliness. There is no limit to it. There is no shortage in it. There is no bargaining in it.

Where there is love, there is no question. Where there is a question, there is no love. Then it becomes a business. So love is the totality of the self. My dear folks, if you cannot find yourself, you can never find anybody you want to find.” – Yogi Bhajan, 4/5/94

Have you noticed the flood of online dating sites? People are desperately looking for something that they call human love. What they are really looking for is something that they believe they lack. Human love comes with a lot of hidden agendas. I think it would be amazing if people were completely honest about themselves on their dating profile. I would be the first to applaud posts such as:

“I want someone to distract me from the fact that I am terrified to be alone.”

“I need to control you because I feel completely out of control most of the time.”

“I’m still angry at my mother or father and want to take it out on you.”

“I don’t want to take responsibility for my material needs so I want someone to help pay for my rent, food and other expenses.”

“I want to avoid judgment from others by having a permanent date on the major holidays.”

“I want to impress my friends with an attractive accessory or someone who fits into my tribe. “

“I refuse to take care of my emotional needs so I want you to be emotionally available for me 24/7.”

“I want to stay a victim by giving all of my power over to you and then later I can blame you for ruining my life.”

“I want you to want me sexually so that I can feel desirable and young, or I just want a baby”

“I want to focus on fixing someone who is broken so I don’t have to look at my own brokenness.”

“I want to be with someone half my age so that I don’t have to face my fear of physical death.”

Do you notice with human love, it’s only the language of “I” and not “we”? This kind of human love could also be called ego love, which is an oxymoron because the ego is incapable of real love.

Ego love is a mask for all of your deep seated fears. The ego convinces you that you’re lacking in love and that the answer lies in that other person, which is usually a fantasy projection.

The ego keeps us from the truth that we are love! Our divinity is made of the frequency of love which is total and complete. How can something absolute be lacking in anything?

What is the true purpose of loving another human? It is to share this Divine Love with other humans. With this love, there is no need—it is only a giving. This giving is actually quite selfish because whatever you love in another person, you reinforce this love within yourself.

So those of you searching for a partner, check any of your ego’s hidden agendas. Ask yourself, “Do I want to give or take in this new relationship and why?” The Aquarian Age demands that we be whole unto ourselves, and that means unconditionally loving ourselves.

But first you must know yourself, and that requires solitude. You must love your own company first before attracting another person.

Maybe a better dating profile could be, “I promise to help you remember your true identity as Spirit and tell you that everything you need is already inside you. Plus, we can have fun too, playing as one Soul in two bodies in this game of life!”

Catalyst Yogi (Haribhajan) helps you to attract healthy, loving relationships and claim your unique, divine gifts through the Shadow Mining online healing programs. These programs are to assist you in your evolution into the new Aquarian Age consciousness. Participants also become a member of a supportive global community called the Catalyst Yogi Synarchy. He also hosts a free monthly online New Moon Meditation for Peace gathering. Check the website for more details.