“Do you know what love is? Love is an absolute power of self-totality. Love is not what you think love is. Love is a strength. Love is a goodness, like Godliness. There is no limit to it. There is no shortage in it. There is no bargaining in it. Where there is love, there is no question. Where there is a question, there is no love. Then it becomes a business. So - love is the totality of the self.My dear folks, if you cannot find yourself, you can never find anybody you want to find.” – Yogi Bhajan, 4/5/94.
“You have a positive love. You have a negative love. You can’t misunderstand your negative love. Negative love is hatred. Negative love is insecurity. Negative love is jealousy. All the things you hate the most are negative love. All the things you like the most – the romance, the dream, prince charming coming and bah-bah-bah, it’s positive love.
First, love is a commotional hysteria. You know what hysteria is? You are doing things, but things are not under your control. Have you seen people in hysteria? It’s something like that. Hysteria is something where people do things but do not know what they are doing.
Then, the second stage is communication. That is where the frequency is established. The third stage of love is: who is the lover and who is the beloved? It doesn’t have anything to do with male and female. My apologies. Had that been the case, two men could not have been lovers and they would not have a gay or lesbian community. The third stage is the deciding factor. Who is the lover and who is the beloved? Love has its own genders.
Once that is established, then the further stage is purification. That’s the most difficult stage of love. Purification is when both see each other clearly, as you see yourself in the mirror. That is where love turns into hatred.
The act of purification is where you see the unseen of each other. Before that, who is the lover and who is the beloved? It is not established in about eighty percent of the cases, and the matter falls apart there. In the act of purification, ninety-five percent of people fall apart. It’s very difficult for people because when you purify yourself with love then you have to merge. Merger of everything in the world is easy, except for two egos. The law of ego is that it never merges.
When “I” lives, “Thou” will never come in. The only way for “Thou” to come in is that the “I” has to be eliminated. The fight is between “I” and “Thou.” The fight is not between two human beings. So if your love affair falls apart, don’t misunderstand. You can’t save it because you can’t love it. You can’t love it because you do not have the control on your ego. If you cannot put your ego to the side, you cannot succeed in love. Period. And don’t even try it. It’s an inborn cancer of the mind that, in some people, their ego rules. Therefore, love must defeat it. The stage of purification is the deciding stage.
One you get away from “I” then the ego gets eliminate. Then the love is understood by the Id. Existing sensitivity, original sensitivity, develops itself into ultimate sensitivity. Therefore, two people have one sensitivity, one action, one reaction and one feeling. It does not matter how much time and distance they have between themselves. And that is the state of Ultimate Love.” – Yogi Bhajan, 7/7/87.
Both of these quote come from the Authentic Relationships DVD series offered through KRI: